Day two of my blog…  I’m feeling good.Although I must admit that when I pressed the ” publish” button my fingers turned icy and my tummy actually was gurgling …I was feeling hungry.Was I hungry for food or was I filling that void..the void crying for so much more than food…but hey this is what I have always done so….( a topic for another time as to why so strong and then so weak) I walked over to the kitchen counter and had four melba toast with peanut butter ….WOW…I stopped there and didn’t  empty the canister and wipe the jar clean……amazing…. I felt a feeling of excitement,fear and of course possible rejection..what if they hate it, what if they laugh and find it crazy? WHAT if I just stop the over thinking and embrace and enjoy the ride in hope that those that need this will find it….yes then I calmed down.Gee the chatter in my head takes up so much space..it’s draining…..exhausting.

So back to 1959…. Where it all started ….that seed had been planted and sadly carried throughout my life .That seed of rejection at such a very young age.It has taken its toll throughout my life…my very true friends have come to  get me,understand me, love me and stay with me for the ride……why they wondered was I always so needing them so close to me…forever making plans..making sure they wouldn’t run away….after all I had to know they’d still be here stil love me…