Back to the winter of 64,I was at home waiting to meet  my new little toy….that’s all I do remember about how I was feeling at the time.When I realized they were home my mind was set…..I was making breakfast for my new baby , my sister.I remember scrambling to the toaster and begging  my mom and possibly my auntie, Mimi,to help me….toast was a must.It was after all my way of saying hello and comforting my confused heart.Food…that F word…here we go !  My security and comfort it all started back then.What a ride it would be…

Having lived in so many homes,well lived is a strong word,let’s say survived and barely at times.We moved at least 8 times,and people ask how I know TMR so well….

Things are unclear but what I do remember,I will share..Curly, curly hair and big brown eyes begging to make her toast…..Oh,I remember being upset ,so upset.They were trying to explain to me that she was way too young to eat toast…I argued that she must be starving….and that I’d soak it with butter make it soft…Who was starving here? The next memories were of me feeling very alone I was no longer  that apple of everyones eye…..the light was no longer shining on me it was becoming dark,very dark…. and  not only that the new toy was tiny and adorable.I was growing by the second it felt…I was no longer important.My mom made sure I felt ugly and disgusting….I was always told I was fat,fat ,fat ,fat ,fat ,fat ,fat ,fat ..I was told later on in life that she really loved me.I burst into tears……..