For those that get it……and okay even for those that don’t please take a ride with me into the lives of us who have had relationships with food that have caused us so many emotions in one single bite…..guilt,pleasure,pain,shame,joy,….on and on and on and on and of course failure….it just never ends.Their small,easy to pop into our mouthes and easy to hide …..hmmmmm….back in the 60’s and 70’s these weren’t so easily available (unless it was Halloween ) as they are today.It doesn’t have to be a holiday anymore there are  bite sized candies everywhere…..Back then a drive to Platsburgh was the thing..the plan…where all the goodies were….( yap,yet another blog) I remember fondly my dear dad looking through my huge pillow case and of course grabbing all his faves and I’d have the rest..well did I? I remember being told not to eat too much of course and truly the memory of it all is a little blurry.I did get over the moon excited though to see all of my best friends in one big huge,deep bag! Hated getting apples back then….Today there are candies,chocolates of all sizes and shapes……their displayed of course on their own shelves and aisles but not only  there but everywhere…..at every freakin’ cash there is a display of chocolates playing with my head.Im waiting to pay for my new panties or a bra and now I’m dealing with the chocolates sitting there winking and flirting at me…..plus every other place they’re hiding in! The hair salons even at the mechanics ……everywhere!!! I know I’m not alone but as I mentioned this at dinner this past week to four very slender woman actually speaking of the treats they had already eaten  I went on to a explain  how they stop afterwards but for many of us this leads to days ,weeks,months sometimes years of wrong eating..cheating…binging …weight gain! There was silence……I’ll always remember bumping into a good friend at the store,she was frantically grabbing bags of Halloween candies and tossing them into her basket and actually slightly out of breath….I asked her what was wrong? She looked at me laughingly saying it was her third round buying candies as she ate them all and now had to find the exact ones as her husband had seen them all and would wonder where they had all gone? That hit me harder than you could ever know….yes I laughed at the moment but actually cried later on as I have no doubt she did as well.The other sad thing is her that husband I’m sure knew as well…..for reasons I don’t need to mention now do I? I could honestly share with you that at least twice a week  I go to the store and in my head have planned to buy a chocolate bar or two….I look at them and of course look around me because I’M OVERWEIGHT AND AFTERALL EVERYONE OUT THERE WILL JUDGE ME so my head dictates to me…..and then I end up walking out with nothing …..but the anxiety I went through is completely insane.Will this ever end? Just for the record I haven’t  bought Halloween treats in years….. They’re no longer invited nor are they  welcome in my home as I just can’t handle that kind of company!