We’re going strong.. our minds are clearer……the  bulges aren’t so bulgy….we’re not so easily annoyed…we have control…we’re making wise choices..we’re feeling on top of the world …everything fits……and then CRASH BANG BOOM! It all falls apart and we say it’s okay tomorrow is a new day! I’ve had many new days…if only those new days were controled days I wouldn’t  still be spinning.Hoping that something will click…..and treats will be treats and not an every day or every week event.Hmmmmmm………like a washing machine on a spin cycle…….it’s exhausting…really it’s just exhausting.I remember years ago my cousin saying we should go live on an island where everyone is obese…( it exists) .I actually think of this very often.However we wouldn’t feel very good……maybe we would be accepted but really who feels good carrying extra weight? I don’t that’s for sure.Along with the  washing machine you are imagining spinning right now….well my head follows the exact same pattern.When will it all stop? When will I not reach for the bread and butter that I promised not to eat that evening…..or at least have a piece and not five or six…..YA I said five or six you heard me…….or resisting the goodies offered at staff  meetings…the scone that I have just spent an hour looking at wondering if I’ll cave……why at one point did all this not matter and now it’s become such a fight again……could someone tell me why? There was a time not so long ago that food was no longer on the top ten challenges or worries in my life….it was easy….what was different then? I remember thinking how simple it was and it WAS…….and then back to the drawing board…..please tell me why? I sat back the other day and thought of a group of friends I once went to meetings with.All fighting the fight together….feeling brave..strong….giving it our all.Sadly years later after all of us had shed hundreds of pounds and gained them back more times than I’d care to share I could safely say none of us have kept it off or for that matter are at our healthy weight….we’re all still testing different weight loss ideas out…..makes me sad actually.I could honestly say that if you don’t have a weight problem you will never,ever,ever know the pain that riddles through so many of us…..the strong  fight we fight…..like a man will never know what it is to give birth to a baby……words cannot express how many of us feel on a daily bases….I share this again so that whom ever is reading this knows that they are not alone….we must keep on trying and never give up on the idea that it will one day happen.Our day will come,that switch will come back on and it will all make sense again……don’t give up and remember we are more than our weight! 

Ya know when you just want a taste of something..a little bite of I don’t know what…….nope, nothing sweet….something crunchy…nah..salty…..a hot beverage maybe…no.Arghhhhhh,so I put it all aside and carried on.I  went on my merry way and did my errands until I came face to face with this huge pretzel.A lady was holding it in her hands and she looked over the moon excited to get her teeth into it.That’s it! I want a pretzel….new to our mall.You do understand that at a much earlier time in my life I once drove to Platsburgh for these.I’m no ordinary girl you do understand.Ha…..So, off I went to the  counter to order…..yikes.Now what will I have….there’s all kinds to choose from.I decided I’d have the same one as I drooled over earlier.Then there were the little cups filled with Nutella,caramel…..another decision to make.Easy,I’ll take the caramel please! Oh boy,a pretzel and caramel sauce……now the question was when,where? Why? I knew why….I was exhausted and feeling emotional and out of my routine…… My taste buds were overjoyed at the thought of scoffing this up…they were dancing in my mouth…I spent too many hours that evening wondering when and where I would attack. I didn’t want to ruin my dinner and feel so guilty eating such a huge snack ….so the decision was made! However I did entertain the thought of sharing it after dinner but we ate dinner so late that night it just didn’t make sense (hee hee) .So my pretzel spent the night in the car and found its way into the toaster and then leaping  into the caramel sauce…..my reasoning was that it was really not fattening  as it was my breakfast.( right) My advice to any of you craving this now is to share it unless of course you don’t want to! Really enough for four but two if you’re feeling greedy and  one if your a true foody and simply just want to pig out! Laughter…….I shared this story in the staff room and even my tiny little friend said she caved when she noticed the famous pretzel place and scoffed hers all in the car! It turned out to be her dinner…many years back I would  have eaten this and dinner too but I guess this aging thing has put a stop to this……She said she just couldn’t stop eating it.So I have no doubt that many of you will be running for a pretzel soon enough and then there’s those that think I’m absolutely crazy……but this is who I am and I truly hope that you enjoy my crazy sharing.Most important is for those that get stuck in the food insanity wheel…..please don’t feel like you are alone because you most definitely  are not.See you  at the pretzel stop……Mr Pretzels….Fairview Ponte Claire Mall….( enter near the Pharmaprix) lol….

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