With my mouth hanging open…I was startled to see that my cottage cheese like thighs had ….well….kind of had little babies?

I never had stunning legs but this was ridiculous! My first thought was I stopped the gym and this is my punishment! F bomb……many times over trust me.F….F…F….Okay,breathe….let’s remember that I am not my legs I am me, Cathy! This is just my next journey into working on me but this time a little differently.I will try to explain the best that I can.I am working hard to not be so taken and preoccupied with my body.When spending every minute reminding myself about all the things I don’t like about me I am simply not living.Anyone out there hearing me? We all must work on ourselves for numerous reasons but we must live in the process.The more I dwell the worse it gets.So having faith that all will work out and being  gentle on myself is an absolute must.I’ll do my best here..I’m not sure what to call it but I am ready for change.After being a certain way forever and keeping myself spinning so I had no time to think….to think of all the hurt I felt and the mistakes I have made….so of course you keep yourself so busy so having no down time / quiet time is perfect….so you think.Now is a new chapter….I still haven’t finished my sharing but not to worry  I will as there is still so much to say.For now I am working mostly on pain management( tears,muscle pain,fibro) and resting my mind….meditation etc…once this becomes easier all will fall into place I have no doubt.Also having a life partner makes life more gentle loving peaceful secure and all around happy.Not just any partner…only the perfect one for me.A man that I love and adore and a man that loves me so unconditionally and thinks I am so beautiful he actually puts a smile on my face when I’m not in a smiling kind of mood….his compliments seem so real and sincere and he loves ME…wow….just the way I am.This puts another curve on my life….helping me love myself and realizing I am more than my body.Wow….exhausting it is at times but the whole point  of this sharing is to remind everyone to look deep inside and focus on all the positive in ourselves and to be gentle and to say only  positive things to ourselves every single day…that’s  right stare into  that mirror and say ” I love you” I am number one and I am beautiful” some may say they already do this others may say ” that’s crazy” but believe me it works.Even if you  don’t believe this when saying this the message actually gets right inside and will work in time….promise.

Example,yesterday I took a little extra time getting ready and made sure to tell myself as well that I liked how I looked…I did not focus on the clothes that shrunk in my closet but instead got dressed and practiced only positive affirmations…actually I was going somewhere that I hadn’t been in a few months so of course my warped distorted head told me this ” they will notice I’ve gained weight for sure and think badly of me” so I made sure my frame of mind was positive and thought of all very positive happy things…..off I went driving just me and my great energy….arrived at my destination and was greeted with huge hugs and smiles and compliments from two  of the guys in service loving my hair…etc….my spirit was high and I was in a positive mind frame.My energies were great and that is how it works….then my silliness came out and as I sat down a conversation started up with the man next to me….I kept reminding myself not to dwell on the not so happy feeling of weight gain…etc..after a little chunk of time had passed ..as I was trying to get the attention of the service man  I decided instead of moving all the papers from my lap etc that I would call him to ask the wait time that remained….the man sitting next to me of course was entertained and everyone was laughing…..all to say when we don’t dwell on the negative it feels oh so gooooooooood! Have a good day everyone…i’ll be back soon.Be good to yourselves.