Sadly, many of my memories are somehow related to food or how it controlled me.Although when I think back to those first years of my life I would  do just about anything to set my feet back into that house today….one thing for sure is that I would need a lot of tissues with me.One day I will go back inside,I have driven by several times and made a few calls hoping it was on the market and that I could go and visit…..guess it’s time again to try.So not feeling the love at such an early age I did turn to food for everything….it was absolutely my go to and the cheating,stealing hiding became a pattern  How could I ever let anyone see me do this ? It all started way back then….this very hard to break and extremely painful relationship.It was all white or black..I finally discovered over the years why I couldn’t find that grey area and when I did it was oh so hard to keep.Why was I being treated like this,.was I an animal of some sort? The cookies,chocolates,candies…all of my best pals were all locked up in our garage with quite the strong shiny lock on the pantry door .WHAT WAS GOING ON? When I think back I hear voices asking ” why are you locking up the food “? Coming from the guests in our forever busy house.I felt like I was being punished and I rememebr  crying and pulling at that damn lock…..why wouldn’t it open? I know what did open …that front door opened…I’d heard  the key turning  in the front door and it was my saviour the man the only man that I thought  would ever love me unconditionally ( oh boy) In he walked with his big strong voice carrying treats for ME!  Then the bickering would start…a full back and forth verbal match on why he would do this? She doesn’t need that! Don’t feed her that stuff!!!!…She’s fat enough…….. And there was me  ….Leaping up the fluffy  carpeted stairs to my bedroom…..my room where I would eventually hide all the goodies I could ever find in this entire world!!!!